Moving Walls

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

Surprised the father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his Son, "Boy, go git yo Momma..."

19 Fun Things To Do On An Elevator

Next time you're on an elevator and feel alittle bored, liven up the moment with some of these insightful ideas. Guaranteed to make heads turn or your money back.

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
4. Swat at flies that don't exist.
5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
7. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
8. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
9. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
10. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
11. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
12. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

14. Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr Elevator."
15. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
16. Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger's direction.
17. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "that's mine!"
18. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
19. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.