You and Your Boss

For those that don't know, being the boss is a tough job. Expectations, requisitions (is that even a word?), etc. - really hard work and stuff. If you didn't already know, here's the 10 major differences between you (the worker) and your (wonderful) boss.

* When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

* When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

* When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

* When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

* When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed. When your boss does it, he's being firm.

* When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

* When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping. When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

* When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

* When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

* When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

I Just Love Hearing It!

A guy phones up his boss, but gets the boss's wife instead.
"I'm afraid he can't come to talk to you. He died last week." she explained.
Next day the man called again and asked for the boss. "I told you" the wife replied " he died last week"
The next day he called again and once more asked to speak to his boss by this time the wife was getting up set and shouted "I have already told you twice my husband, your boss, died last week. Why do you keep calling?
"Cause, I just love hearing it..." he replied

LET THE BOSS SPEAK FIRST

Once, Boss, Officer & Clerk going 4 a meeting.
They saw a Jin.
Jin said: As i fulfill 3 wishes at a time
But u r 3 persons so i will fulfill 1 wish for each.

Clerk said: Send me to America with a lot of money clerk disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Officer said: Send me to Paris with a lot of beautiful girls. officer disappears. (wish fulfilled)
Jin said to Boss: what is your wish?
He said: “I want these two idiots back at office after lunch.”
Moral: Always Let the BOSS SPEAK First

Let the Boss speak first...

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss were on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they came across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a genie appeared. He said, "Normally, only one is granted three wishes. But as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager junior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas on a fast boat and have no worries" … Pfufffff, and he was gone!

The senior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails"… Pfufffff, and he also was gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm!"


Moral of the story is: Always allow the bosses to speak first!