Someone Else Will

fish vendor: only 50 cents, very very fresh ,if you dont someone else will.
thief: how much do you have
fish vendor : only 50 cents
thief : are you trying to be fresh with me
fish vendor: very very fresh
thief: do you want me to kill you
fish vendor :if you don't someone else will.

Ugliest Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

A Small Boy and A Kind Old Man

An old man was walking down the street one day when he noticed a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy was very small and the doorbell was too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the old man moved closer to the boy's position.
He stepped smartly across the street, walked up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the old man smiled benevolently and asked, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replied, "Now we run!"