In-Laws

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Anger Management

Husband: every time I hit you, you never fight back. how do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat.............
Husband: how does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!!!!

I Just Love Hearing It!

A guy phones up his boss, but gets the boss's wife instead.
"I'm afraid he can't come to talk to you. He died last week." she explained.
Next day the man called again and asked for the boss. "I told you" the wife replied " he died last week"
The next day he called again and once more asked to speak to his boss by this time the wife was getting up set and shouted "I have already told you twice my husband, your boss, died last week. Why do you keep calling?
"Cause, I just love hearing it..." he replied

WAIT A SECOND

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: OK give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second