Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: A party.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: Your honor.
Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, "Fees!"
Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.
Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
Showing posts with label Bulb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bulb. Show all posts
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Light Bulb Joke
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has to really WANT to change.
A2: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: How many government workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. Eighteen to stand around, one to change the bulb, and another to supervise.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, another to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw the poor (ouch.. I can't believe I posted this one).
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to refer an installation specialist, and another to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it too.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
A: Only one, but the bulb has to really WANT to change.
A2: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: How many government workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. Eighteen to stand around, one to change the bulb, and another to supervise.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, another to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw the poor (ouch.. I can't believe I posted this one).
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to refer an installation specialist, and another to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it too.
Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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