Caught Sleeping At The Office : Best Excuses Here

So what do you do when your boss walks in and catches you asleep at your desk? You could freak out and get fired, or rattle off some really good excuses. The top 10 best things to say when getting caught asleep are:

10) ''They told me at the blood bank this might happen.''

09) ''This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.''

08)''Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!''

07) ''I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.''

06) ''I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.''

05) ''I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stess. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?''

04) ''Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.''

03) ''The coffee machine is broken...''

02) ''Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot...''

01) ''.....in God' name, Amen.''

Prison And Office

In case you ever get these two environments confused, this should clear things up a bit. Now, aren't you glad to be free?

* In prison you spend the majority of your time in a 10x10 cell. At office you get a 6x6 cubicle.
* In prison you get three free meals per day. At office, you get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
* In prison you get time off for good behavior. At office you get more work for good behavior.
* In prison the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At office you have to carry a security card and open all the doors yourself.
* In prison you get to watch TV and play games. At office, you'll get fired for doing that.
* In prison you get your own toilet. At office, you have to share a toilet with folks who pee on the seat.
* In prison they allow you to see your friends and family. At office, you're not even supposed to speak to them.
* In prison you spend most of your time inside bars wanting to get out. At office, you spend most of your time wanting to be in bars.
* In prison you have to deal with a sadistic, irritated, grumpy and impatient warden. At office, he's called your boss.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture... now get back to work! You're not getting paid to read jokes!