Some Political One Liners

Why do politicians envy ventriloquists?
Because they can lie without moving their lips.

What do you call a politician who swears to tell the truth?
A liar.

What do you call a democrat that sleeps around?
A breeding-heart liberal.

If con is the opposite of pro then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress.

How can you tell when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.

Who is a politician?
One who shakes your hands before elections and your confidence after.