Idiot

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

Clever Boy

"Hey, Mom," asked a little boy, "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not!" answered his mother. "If you do," the boy went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."

His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? what did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"

An Unusual Event

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week.

A little boy got up and read his essay.

It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..." "My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed.

"Is he all right?" "He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

Fast

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their Dads are.

The first one says:"Well, my Dad runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says:"Ha! You think that's fast! My Dad is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says:"You two know nothing about fast. My Dad is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!"

Bring Me A Glass Of Water

One night a father sent his son upstairs to bed. Five
minutes later the boy screamed, ”Dad! Can you get me a
glass of water!?!”

”No. You had your chance. Be quiet and go to sleep.”

A minute later the boy screamed, ”Dad!! Can you PLEASE get
me a glass of water?”

”No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I’ll come up
there and spank you.”

A minute later the boy yelled, ”Dad, when you come up to
spank me can you bring me a glass of water?”

Birthday Gift

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad,
just a radio with a sports car around it.

Positive Thinking

A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.

Dad asked: “how did u feel?”

It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. everyone was clapping for me”

Moral: Take everything positively