Alcohol Warnings

* Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser.

* Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again.

* Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

* Consumption of alcohol may convince you that your ex is really dying to hear from you at 4 am.

* Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

* Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

* Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you're tougher than a really big guy named Kong.

* Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

* Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

* Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small... or large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.