SOME FUNNIEST ADS!

These ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:

* Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.

* FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

* Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.

* For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.

* Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.

* Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

* For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

* Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

* Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

* Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

* Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.

* Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.

* Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

* Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

* Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.

* Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.

* Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

* Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward.

* Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.

* ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

* Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.

* Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

* Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days.

* Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."

* Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.

* Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.

* Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, Auto, Excellent condition $6800.